Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize