So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
