Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
