I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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