I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
