Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
