you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
