I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
