He uses pillows to masturbate.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
