He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
