peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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