I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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