Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
