I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize