i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize