My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
