How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize