I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This is classic penis vs brain.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
