i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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