We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i've created a new STD.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
