I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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