At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
