Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
