It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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