Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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