Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
