I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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