Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
