its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
