Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
