Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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