So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
