yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
