This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
