I need help removing her.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
