I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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