Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
