He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dick very happy bro
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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