if you like me you must not know who I am
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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