Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
