why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
