I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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