Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
