im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
