My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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