All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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