I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
