My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
