She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
