Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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