lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
