you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
