i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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