shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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