Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
