Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
All the doctor said was why
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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