how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
